top of page


Reconciliation happens when the lessons of the past get translated into an action plan for the future.  All of the insights which arise from "Step 3 - Learning from the Affair" must be incorporated in a Recovery Plan for Change.


The unfaithful partner develops this plan with the support of his/her therapist, 12 step program, and/or other resources. This typically includes an understanding how intimacy has been blocked in the unfaithful partner’s life and new ways of providing healthy connection. The couple’s plan for change is a combination of the unfaithful partner’s recovery plan plus any changes the couple needs to make given all that they have learned.


The recovery plan is often built on the following components:

The unfaithful partner's plan will be communicated to the betrayed partner in a Restitution Letter. The creation and carrying-out of new plan represents restitution for the deep wounds inflicted by the betrayal.

bottom of page