My Story: A Marriage Undermined by Secrets and Emotional Distance

A Marriage Undermined by Secrets and Emotional Distance
 

For 24 years, I was in a marriage where something always felt just out of reach. While there was love and loyalty on the surface, underneath lived a painful mismatch.

I was constantly reaching for emotional connection, only to be met with defensiveness or detachment. I minimized my needs and blamed myself for the distance I felt.

Over time, the trust in my own perception began to erode—and when deeper betrayals came to light, I understood why.
 

Discovering Betrayal
 

I know what it’s like to find out the person you trusted most was living a separate emotional—or sexual—life. 
 

I’ve lived through the gut-wrenching realization that your reality wasn’t the full story. 
 

I’ve endured financial secrets, emotional affairs, and the slow unraveling that comes with dishonesty. 
 

I also know how hard it is to find your footing again when everything you believed about your relationship has been shaken.
 

Rebuilding After the Collapse
 

My own recovery didn’t start with forgiveness. It started with anger. With disbelief. With learning to trust my instincts again. 
 

Through 12-step work and therapy, I began to untangle the shame I had internalized and reclaimed my sense of self.

I learned how to rebuild—not just my relationships, but my identity. 
 

That work—of holding space for both heartbreak and healing—is what I now offer to others.

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Working with Betrayed Partners
 

When you discover an affair, it shatters more than trust—it fractures your reality.

You may feel obsessive, numb, furious, desperate to know more and desperate to forget.

You might be wondering if your relationship was ever real, or if you were just naive. None of that makes you weak. It makes you human.

In our work together, I help you:
 

• Regain your clarity and sense of self after the rupture

• Understand the trauma symptoms you may be experiencing

• Navigate the tidal wave of grief, rage, and fear that often follows discovery

• Decide whether to stay or go—from a grounded, empowered place

• Set boundaries and rebuild internal safety—no matter what your partner chooses
   

You don’t have to rush to forgive. You don’t have to “be the bigger person.” You get to grieve, rage, reflect, and eventually—heal.

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Working with Partners Who Have Had Affairs
 

Not everyone who has an affair is a villain. Sometimes it’s about avoidance. Sometimes it’s about disconnection. Sometimes it’s about trying to feel alive, wanted, or seen.

No matter what led you there, taking ownership is hard—but it’s also the first step toward change.
 

I work with individuals who are:
 

• Ready to understand why the affair happened and what it meant

• Committed to taking full accountability without defensiveness

• Struggling with guilt, shame, or confusion about their own choices

• Trying to reconnect with their partner—or with themselves—after disclosure
   

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about honesty, repair, and learning how to show up differently.

Working with Couples After an Affair

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The discovery of an affair often brings couples into therapy at the most fragile point in their history.

One partner is in pain, demanding answers. The other is shut down, flooded with shame, or unsure how to fix what’s been broken. There are no easy answers—but there is a path forward.
 

In our work together, I help couples:
 

• Slow down and process the rupture without spiraling into blame or shutdown

• Create space for the betrayed partner’s pain without minimizing or rushing

• Explore the relational patterns that left the relationship vulnerable

• Decide whether and how to rebuild trust, connection, and commitment

• Learn new tools for emotional intimacy, accountability, and communication
   

Affair recovery isn’t about going back to how things were. It’s about building something new—something more honest, resilient, and mutual.

Who I Work With
 

• Individuals recovering from the shock of infidelity

• Partners struggling with guilt and shame after an affair

• Couples navigating the raw aftermath of betrayal

• People deciding whether to stay or separate after trust is broken

• Those seeking support for long-term relational repair or closure

What I Bring
 

I bring lived experience. 
 

I bring the perspective of someone who’s lived both sides of betrayal and chosen the path of healing. 
 

I bring deep clinical training in attachment repair, trauma, and couples therapy—and the steadiness to hold intense emotional work without flinching. My therapy room is a place where you don’t have to perform or pretend. 
 

Whether you’re reeling, repairing, or releasing, I’ll help you move forward with dignity and truth.

Modalities

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

• Internal Family Systems (IFS)

• Polyvagal theory

• Trauma-informed care

• Gottman Method
   

License:

• Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #154799

• Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452

• Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers