4. PLAN FOR CHANGE
FINDING SUPPORT


GETTING HELP

It is a huge mistake to try to heal alone. Isolation breeds depression and a downward emotional spiral. There are plenty of people who care, you just have to find them. 

THERAPISTS

Our team of trained affair recovery therapists would love to help. Just reach out to us by completing the form on the bottom of this page and we will be there for you.

12-STEP GROUPS

Historically, there has been controversy surrounding whether 12-step groups work; however, a recent study (authored by Dr. John Kelly of Harvard Medical School, Keith Humphreys of Stanford University, and Dr. Marica Ferri of the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction) shows how such groups are very effective in supporting abstinence. Talk to your therapist to help you find a group that is right for you. You can start by considering:

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Love Addicts Anonymous

Co-Dependents Anonymous

One major benefit of a 12-step group is the opportunity to find a sponsor. This can be a life changing relationship.

12-STEP SPONSOR

A 12-Step sponsor has already gone through the recovery steps and is motivated to help someone else who is struggling just as they once were. Sponsors should be at least a year into recovery. The role of a sponsor includes:

 

  • Providing guidance on the program itself

  • Helping with readings and homework

  • Connecting to their sponsees, often daily in the early stages of recovery

  • Suggesting ways to prevent relapse  

  • Encouraging with sobriety achievements

  • Holding sponsees accountable for their recovery work

INFIDELITY SUPPORT GROUPS

Support groups are recommended for both partners in an affair. They are a worthwhile way to open up to others and break the trap of secrecy and shame. This experience may stand in contrast to the judgement or painful gossip that often results with friends and family.

 

An infidelity support group is:

 

  • a place (often virtual) to meet others who have experienced an affair

  • a judgment-free and safe space.

  • a place where the common goal is to heal

  • a group of people that you can count on during a hard time for support and encouragement

  • a group of people who can give you feedback on what works and does NOT work

  • a place where you can feel normal

Some groups include:

Please use your discernment when exploring groups. Keep a keen eye for confidentiality, caring support, and wisdom.